Friday, February 5, 2010

Never Go Jogging With A Knife In Your Sports Bra--A True Story.

Ciao lovers!

Happy fucking Friday! I bring you greetings from sunny---wait soggy flooding and chilly Southern California. I've not bothered to shower and have feasted on 2 episodes of Maury, one Divorce Court, Young and the Restless, General Hospital, wine...I'm sure I've gained 3lbs from eating everything in my cabinet and carpel tunnel from fucking around on twitter. I've destroyed my fruitful existence and it's only 6:30pm.

Now common sense would tell you, that if you have gas drinking alcohol will NOT help. But somewheres in my mind, I keep thinking this mint julep is justifiable.

There's something about the rain that makes Angelinos crazy. We go into shock. I keep waiting for Percy Jackson and the Olympians to come and save me. I'm trapped in my little house. I cannot bare to face the outside world. It's awful! This is what happens when it rains in SoCal: The highways back up for hours, the news reports break in every 3.4 minutes to tell us "it's raining" and it always brings mudslides and flooding. The rain even caused the cancellation of Dr. Conrad Murray's ass getting thrown into the clink!

Ain't that a bitch? This idiot quack doped Michael up to basically pay for his ridiculous lifestyle. While I certainly believe he should be held accountable for his actions, I also believe others should be held accountable too. Like all of the other quacks that bleached his skin, played Mr. Potato with his facial features and enabled his demise. But not his hairstylist. I'm still trying to figure out how to get that cornsilk hair. [note: Cornsilk was a Cabbage Patch Kid Doll that had "silky" anti-yarn hair]

I'm not here to bash the deceased. Michael of Gary has and will allways continue to inspire me. But Dr. Murray? Yous a dumb ass that got caught up in the illusion of inclusion and now these ofays is after yo black ass. You are the poster-boy for "malpractice and negligence". Now I'm no doctor, but I've watched enough St. Elsewhere episodes to know that you cannot always know how a patient will react to medication. Scores of "doctors" have fucked Michael of Gary for years. And I'm sure Dr Murray had some insight to Michael's medical history. But Michael is gone, and now we have to listen to a bad remake of We Are The World.

Yes, it's nice that they're singing to raise proceeds for the victims of the Haitian earthquake. But seriously? COME ON! Back in the day, the song had 45 singers. Today's version 85. You heard me. 85 fucking "singers" including Vince Vaughn.

Now maybe Vince can sang his ass off, just seems like an odd thing. Whatever, I like VV. He's from Chicago and well...nuff said.

What was I talking about? See the rain has distracted me again. Oh. Oprah had a show yesterday talking about Diabetes America's Silent Killer.

But I happen to know the silent killer is my gas.

Well, you've just wasted another perfectly good 11 minutes of your life reading this blog. Good job asshole.


Ciao for now...

No comments: