I miss you magnificent bastards more than I miss watching Bill Nye The Science Guy everyday after school and wondering why none of my bloody teachers never bothered to tell me that I didn't come from Adam's Ribs. Never mind the bible, for years I thought humanity was created in a rib shack called Adams. I thought mankind formed in a bubbling cauldron of mild barbeque sauce. Yeah, then we took humanoid form, banished the dinosaurs to live in the Jurassic Arctic circle because they liked the smell of heating charcoal and posed a treat to us. Once they were gone, we got on with society. I thought that every time there was a barbeque in a park, neighbors house, or even my own back yard--I thought we were celebrating life. Until this day, mild sauce remains sacred to me. It's sweet, tangy and when slathered on any morsel of food grilled, fried, baked or poached--the shit is fucking magical.
It wasn't until Bill said "you silly bitch, you didn't come from ribs--you came from fish eggs in the sea" (or something like that) "and fuck anybody who tells you differently." I realized I wasn't a descendant of ribs, rather caviar. Oh shit! Them girls on Dynasty be eating caviar. And they are filthy fucking rich. Hey, I can be rich! I can return to my true self...all I need is a jar of caviar...yeah I'll shove them into my PEZ dispenser and eat that them shits. While the rest of these children listen to this idiot teacher, I will be living the high life--like the people on Catfish Roe.
So life didn't quite turn out like I thought, but a caviar life has become my existence. Rich, and exclusive-- to a little society called love. Love from you, my friend...so thank you.
I just want you to know that I am alive and well---still typing with one hand and get this, sans DRUGS. Well, not completely--but I don't have to medicate every 4-6 hours for the pain. I am weening myself off the narcotics, which is a sign that my wing is healing. It's scary having somewhat lucid thoughts--I don't know how you do it possum.
This coming Weds, it will make 1 month that I have been in this sling/cast contraption since my surgery...doped up...writhing with pain...unable to properly feed, dress, or groom myself...but I am a taurus so we don't scare easy--and I'll be damned if I can't write. In a few days, its coming off and I won't need to wear it as often. But before I can go back to 2 handed masturbation or sewing in my own weaves, I've months of physical therapy and have to re-learn how to use my arm. Because they had to detach the bicep, I can't lift...and because they shaved the clavicle, I have no over head usage....luckily for me, I can both pour and pop pills washed down by vodka with my left hand.
Speaking of narcotics--friends let me tell you...DRUGS IS GOOD. Four yearz you haf witch hunted pore Lindseeeee Lowhan and she is simply misunderstood. oscar wilde was 2. fuk all u hoes. i take drugs now, and i am fine gerw3h4hM,YRTHEQu66@#4 d sorry fell on to key bored. had to take some Norco. its the best Brah. street value of 700 dollaz per bottle. but now i sm str8. drugs shoul b accept-able so stop judging me only gawd can. i am his kid! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONnE!!! LEAVE CHIC-FIL-A ALOOOONNNNNE! 4tgnnhdfgio78 so leave drugs users alone! this iz a P SS EH.
whoa. I'm back. How long was I out?