I bid you greetings from the fair city of Chicago, IL home to a few good sports teams...that are all kickin ass! Go WHITE SOX! It's beautiful spring weather and the city makes you want to swoon! There are baseball games, basketball, hockey, soccer in the park, bike paths jammed with cyclists, and children swinging from monkey bars like yester-year. Beer gardens are overflowing and old school cats are wiping the cob webs off the garbage can steel BBQ pits. We're all so happy to have decent weather we're aching to get out into the fresh air and shed our winter skin, and welcome spring.
But this warm weather that we so deserve, comes at a heavy price. Last night alone there were 17 reported shootings on Chicago's southside. Of the 17 people that were shot, 6 died.
A few weeks ago when there was a warm spell, 42 shootings were reported.
Typically when I visit Chicago, I agonize over leaving my fair city to return to Los Angeles. I always complain about how I miss looking at people that are bigger than a size 6, People who smile at you, and hold open doors. Great food, with customer service. An abundance of museums and galleries. Public transit that works. The grind of the pavement under you feet. But this trip? It all feels---wrong.
I find that most people are aggressive, unrefined, and down right apathetic. Never in a million years did I think I would say this---but
right now...I HATE CHICAGO.
Its fucking gross. Trash blows in the wind, the streets are littered with so many pot holes that when you drive over 15mph you feel like your having a fucking seizure. The CTA has fucked so many passengers by cutting service (mainly those in black and under served communites), street cleaning, like the US Census, happens once every 10 years, Daley has those goddamned pay boxes in the worse fucking places--and soon he's putting them at Chicago's lake front beaches!
And when I say people are unrefined, I'm not being a snob. I am all about freedom of expression but when you look a fucking fool, I'm gone call you out.
If I see another young black girl stuffed into some yeasty tight ass jeans, with a baby tee and a fucked up lace front I'm going to scream. Stop wearing these beauty supply store $1 dollar eye lashes, and piercing your face. And your nails? These" Minx" silvery nails make you look like you got into a fight with a street lamp...you look a fucking fool. Oh and please get off the fucking phone asshole, you are DRIVING.
If I see another black dude wearing those white tee shirt dresses, jeans around their ankles as if they're ready to get fucked in the ass, baseball caps with brims flat as Swedish pancakes, driving them raggedy ass tax return cars (you know those stupid Chevy caprices and crown vic's purchased for a thousand bucks) on 24s and a fucked up sound system that rattles...and baby boy it's 80 degrees. Take off that Avirex leather coat. You look a fucking fool.
Ever just look at a mothafucka and can tell they stank? Well, that's what most people are like for me right now. They smell like stale french fries and oppression. I'm tired of stepping over piles of tobacco because some ass much has rolled a blunt. I'm tired of seeing the same bullshit on the news. I feel like Chicago is The Wire. Except there ain't no re-writes on this script.
Everyone is capitalizing on this mess. Just today I saw a poster for the radio station WGCI 107.5 that read "What's Poppin Ride?" I almost crashed my car trying to figure out what the fuck kind of coonery they were selling? Half of these kids can barely read---hell their parents can't either. I'm not making fun of illiteracy---I'm just angry about the perpetual bullshit in Chicago black communities. And yes, perhaps my shot at WGCI is unfair, but personally everytime I tune into their station I hear the same fucking ads "Do you wanna lose weight? Is your credit fucking up your life? Do you wanna cash your check at our check cashing place?" Then they play some top 40 bullshit and cackle like hyenas. I wish I owned a station. Of course my ads wouldn't get much airtime.
"Do you wanna take this pill because you're a miserable fuck living in a society called Chicago's segregated under served SOUTH SIDE? Are you of tired of being tired because you have no grocery stores, books stores or small business to support ? Are you tired of the gunshots?
Dlapidated buildings? Seeing poor pit bull dogs bred to kill one another? Tired of seeing children call their mother Tina, and their grandmother Ma? Tired of driving all the way up north to have dinner or drinks with friends because if you're south of 22nd street you are shit out of luck? If you are then call this number! 1 800 DROP SQUAD. We will come and exterminate these shiftless lazy mothafucks who wander thru life aimlessly, fuck and make babies that they cannot take care of...we will start a new revolution and throw Molotov cocktails at ANY asshole who is not down for change. Call the DROP SQUAD. We will deprogram apathetic minds."
Well that's enough ranting for the day. Night is falling and soon the creeps will be out in full force. I pray to God, that every single gun jams tonight. We MUST stop the violence.
the saga continues...
NEXT BLOG: Why teaching your children fractions, is a total waste of time.