What a shit storm of a day kiddies. Mummy is beginning to think that the Gods are torturing her for their own enjoyment.
In the words of Buddy the Elf "I'm an angry little elf."
I want to call up the good folks at Citibank, Pell Grant, and every other Illinois grant/scholarship/loan agencies and scream " WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU THINKING, GIVING ME MONEY FOR A THEATRE DEGREE?! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST APPROVE A DEGREE IN BASKET WEAVING? OR CHESS BOARD MAKING YOU ASSHOLES! I HOPE YOUR PENIS AND UNDERARMS ARE PLAGUED WITH CHICKEN POX FOR THE REST OF YOUR MONEY GRUBBING LIVES."
Irrational anger? Perhaps. But after many years of humping, I keep coming up with the same bullshit. Now, one of those dead white men classified doing the thing over and over again and expecting different results as "insanity". Oh so I guess submitting to every theatre company, talent agency, casting director and Johnny Fuck Face production company to solict work is insane? Well, dead smart white man, I have to agree with you. IT IS INSANE.
I'm trying so hard not to give up. Hell, I'm not really good at anything else except being an artist. I would consider becoming a football wife, but my quality of weave ain't good enough for the Terell Owens' of the world. I can't be with a rapper because I'm over the age of 21 and I actually enjoy Chaucer, Dumas, and the Bronte Sisters. Am I calling rappers low brow and stupid? Yes.
I swear I'm going to shave my head, tape down my tits and pose as a gay man. They're the only ones surviving this economic shit storm.
Listen dear reader, I'm angry and this posting probably makes NO sense. But use your imagination okay? Pretend I've said some profound shit that will change your life.
Now go plant a tree asshole, it's Earth Day.
Whatever the fuck that means.
Love you. Mean it.
NEXT BLOG: EATING DISORDERS IN BABIES. WHY THEY SPIT UP.