Friday, March 12, 2010

The World According to Shit

Well hello fucka!

It's Friday and I hope you are freshly fucked.
{Well, that was nasty. Good job Nic. Now you'll only have 2 readers following your blog.}

I'm feeling quite unhinged today.  But that's nothing new. I'm off my square nearly everyday.  It amazes me how I have no tolerance for other peoples lack of manners.  You know, talking on the cell phone in bathroom stalls while I'm trying to concentrate on taking a poo, then you come in talking some bull jive and my poo hears this bull jive, then does the turtle on me. (you know when you think its out, then it goes back in?) And it's fucking rude.  You come into the stall bumping your gums about how "Steve is a jerk for making you pay half the bill on your date last night..." and and my poo time is interrupted.

People are so rude and lack discrepancy.
Not me. Talking about poo is completely natural and unashamed.

Why am I using keystrokes for juvenile anecdotes you might ask? Simple: I'm ready to be discovered.

After 4 years of training drama, dance and music at a performing arts school, and working hard for a B.F.A. from the School of Theatre at Northern Illinois University, and working for years as an actor has gotten me no where quick.  And if people are getting careers off of youtube or funny or die, then I will use the blogesphere.

See my plan is simple. Lady Gaga rocketed to fame for being a drag queen, Lauren Conrad for being  a rich white girl, Omarosa for being an evil black bitch, and that old ass Larry Platt for Pants on The Ground.  See where I'm going with this??? Talking about poo will lead some executive to read this blog and contact me. I will pitch a series (reality of course) about my bathroom stall experiences in public and get a reality show! Then I'll make room fresheners for QVC that will sell out immediately, and become a multi-millionaire.  I will become the Shit Hole millionairess give that Pine Sol lady a run for her money.

Eventually all of this SHIT (PUN INTENDED) will lead me back to the thousands of dollars I've spent on my education.  I will be gainfully employed.  SHIT will lead me back to Sonnets.  SHIT will lead me to a romantic comedy. SHIT will give me a black/white cop buddy drama.  SHIT will lead me to do a slave epic drama. SHIT will lead me to do the drugged up died too soon R&B singer bio pic (which they will give me an Oscar for) and I will finally have my redemption song, and buy all the shit I need and want.

It seems to me that workshops, submissions, scene nights and all of that leads you no where fast.  I'm so over the acting bull jive. I'm going to build a new career on my kinda of shit. Yes, SHIT.

So, I'm glad I figured it out. Feels good to exact this plan. Too often we run in circles cuz we don't know how to let shit go. Well, give it a try dear reader. It just might be your path to enlightenment.

So I hope the sun is shining brightly on your shoulders. I'm about to eat some plantation food and listen to John Denver.

ciao for now!

Shitty McGee



catie said...

You light up my life.

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