Mummy has missed you all so much. Never to worry love, she's fresh out of rehab and back on the saddle ready to deliver organic locally grown bullshit to the masses.
So what in the world is happening?
SPORTS
Lets see Tiger Woo finally gave his first interview one-on-one interview to the Golf Channel months after his wife tried to cut off his ding dong. But who cares about that mess, I just want homeboy to come back to play golf.
HOLLYWEIRD
Jesse James is not only a dead outlawed cowboy, he's also the most hated man in America. After America's sweethart took home Oscar gold, it was revealed that her hubby was laid up with some tattoo Nazi loving broad who is THE WORST stripper I've ever seen. Nothing more tragic than a boring stripper. Womp womp.
RELIGION
To all of you who may have suffered at the hands of some sick pedophile priest, while the Roman Catholic church did absolutely NOTHING to stop it, Pope Benedict says "sorry".
And that friends, is a direct quote.
POLITICS
In the year of our Lord 2010, the Health Care Reform bill has passed. Now at this point you've got a bunch of pundits spewing all kinds of conjecture, because the battle has just begun. In case you've not really followed this story, or are afraid to admit to your friends "you don't understand all this hooey" lemme try to break it down for you. The idea is that Health Care Reform will bring about change in our society as we know it. It promises to lower the cost of health care in these United States for American families, small business, and rectify those who are uninsured. That's the idea.
Now, this bill won't satisfy all. Most of the left wingers wanted a Public Option, and the right wingers wanted millions of uninsured Americans to continue festering in their diseased state until they curled up and died. Then they wanted to use the dead uninsured Americans as compost for their lawns.
Unfair? Biased? You're goddamned right I am. I am all about social justice. I may even be a socialist (except when it comes to fashion. There has to be hierarchy. Every Tom Dick and Harpo cain't look as fly as I do). When you've sat 17 hours in an emergency room with your mother only to be told "she needs to be admitted, but we have no beds" because the Washington Park community is underserved, and no one really cares about poor sick people, you kind of have a chip on your shoulder.
Health Care must be reformed. We must reform our way of thinking. Being a woman in many ways, is considered a "pre-existing condition." So if you're preggers and need health insurances? Shit-out-of-luck. Got a yeast infection? SOL. Got beat down by your husband? SOL.
I'm all for alternatives to Western medicine. Yoga, Reiki, Acupuncture and all that jazz is great, but there comes a time where I'd like to pick up a phone and call my doctor to say, "hey I've got a mushroom growin' out of my ass and I'm tired of shoving garlic and yogurt up the hole. Please fix my vagina."
So, with time this will all play out. And with time, I pray my mother will get adequate health insurance. So brava to the democrats! Last week, I called y'all some pussies. This week, you're my favorite baby killer socialists.
OBITUARY
Rush Limbaugh was laid to rest today in his native home, the 9th circle of hell, after suffering cardiac arrest when Barak the Magic Negro and his band of Democrats whipped out their dicks and slapped them on his forehead---
oh wait...sorry possums...mummy was day dreaming for a moment there.
I really wish Washington DC's great son Petey Green were still alive to have a go at Rush. He would dog walk this fat fucker and teach him to shut his pie hole for once and all.
Rush you're a slimy mothafuck and I hope your urethra becomes so narrow that you cannot pee. Then you'll be forced to go to the doctor. And guess who's black ass will be sitting next to YOU in the waiting room?
A Pimp Negress Called Slick.
Eat a Dick Rush. Eat. A. Dick.
That's all for now kids. Be happy and try not to die.
ciao,
x
NEXT BLOG: WACKA FLOCKA FLAME. What you can do to stop this pestering ass clown from selling his niggaroke to the masses.
2 comments:
there is indeed nothing worse than a boring stripper.
I like the hood girls myself. Never boring.
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