Friday, February 12, 2010

Slick's Picuyane Tribune Times. Weather, Sports, Religion, Science, Fashion & Tom Foolery. News That You Love.

Ciao fuckers!

Happy Friday! Man what a beautiful day it is here in SoCal. And as for the rest of the country hit by the blizzards and never ending snowfall...well God obviously does not love you. He has peed in your Wheaties yet again. 

Awwwh I'm just messing with you. But just because it's 72 degrees here, and the sun is shining doesn't mean life is great. Oh who am I kidding? I got sunburn driving this afternoon.  Life is so hard.

Where ever you are, and whatever the temperature, I'm glad that you are 6ft above ground.  In case you don't know the world of art & fashion suffered a stunning lost yesterday.  Fashion icon Alexander McQueen died at the age of 40, of an apparent suicide.  His designs rocked runways all over the world. And for those of us with anemic bank accounts and could not always afford his pieces, would fight like mad wolves at Loehman's anytime his clothes showed up in the Backroom.  And I'm not proud of the 4 children and 2 elders I trampled at Target to grab his label...but sometimes you do what you must in the name of fashion.  He was a brilliant bloke and will be sorely missed.

I'm certain by now John Mayer is hiding 6ft underground in his "jack ass of the week" bunker.  Come on out dummy. We're not mad at you. And by WE I mean black women (even Kerry Washington!). Listen, we have Maury Povich to love us.  Everytime it turns out the baby is NOT fathered by who we think, we run off the stage screaming, hallaring, gnashing and wailing. And who's there to hold us? MAURY. So John, we don't need yo pink ass dingaling.  We have Maury as our patron saint.  And listen mothafcuka you ain't NEVER had a ghettopass.  Its amazing to me how some white people want EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE BURDEN. Wanna walk like, talk like and be accepted by black communities. Bullshit. Either wear your hood with pride, or stop talking to the media.  Like black girls was jamming to "your body is a wonderland".  There are only a FEW white men that black women have accepted. A shortlist:  Michael McDonald, Hall & Oates, George Michael, JK from Jamiroquai,  and on occasion the Everly Bros.  So John, I hope you enjoy this song I've written for you.  Hold on while I tune my guitar...okay. eeeeh um... (singing)

John Mayer. Eat a dick.
Kick rocks mothafucka.

I really don't care about this dude, but its so much fun to kick a guy when he's down.  He'll make a comeback and this will all be forgotten.
No it won't.

In other important news of the world my big sister Tina Fey will grace the cover of Vogue.  I hope they don't airbrush her scar off.  It lends character to her already beautiful face.  But knowing Anna Wintour it's gone.  Typically I HATE seeing singers and actresses on covers of fashion mags, but if anyone is worthy Tina Fey is.

In politics for you ass clowns who considered Bill Clinton to be your first black president (I throw up a bit in my mouth everytime I hear that) you'll be happy to know that his hospital visit turned out to be okay. He did not have a heart attack and will soon return to doing his work. Good job Bill.

In the world of sports former Chicago White Sox star FRANK BIG HURT THOMAS is retiring from baseball. Job well done govenor. I salute  you. And on a sad note an Olympic lugger from the country of Georgia was killed hours before the opening Olympic games.  He died while practicing...really sad.

In religion Chicago's Cardinal Francis George denounces a gay-positive ministry based in DC. Him say, the group does not offer "an authentic interpretation of Catholic teaching." The Vatican is so gross.

The Pasadena Playhouse closed its doors after 80years of producing plays.  Makes my stomach turn.  The playhouse would need a financial white knight to re-open its doors. Something to the tune of 10 million dollars to clear the debt and get the wheels back into motion. Sigh.

The famed HOLLYWOOD sign is in danger too.  It needs about 5.5 million dollars. Sigh
Also in Hollyweird news the flick Wolfman will open this weekend.  I hope it does well. Imagine that. A Puerto Rican playing a wolf. Lets just reflect on that for a second.  Hats off to you Mr. Del Toro.

Alright kids, that's the news for now.

NEXT BLOG: Squirrels who love the Cha Cha Slide.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Damn I was going to buy a new Hummer in late 2012 and drive around the country for a vacation, Now I am going to have to shave my head and join the Hari.s, Muslims, Jews, Jehovah s, Mormons, Christians, and a few other wing nut groups just to cover all my bases.
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