Slick's Return to Closed Captioning for the Jive Impaired

Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooo mummy's little possum!!!!!!!!!

Where oh, where have you been?

I'm hoping dear reader, that is your burning question regarding my absence.  I've taken hiatus from the blogesphere before, but this for certain has been the longest gap. And for that my friend, I humbly place flowers, candies, incense and garland at your feet begging forgiveness.

I hate being away from you. Especially with so much shit that has happened in the world. Mass shootings, heart breaking trials, terrorist attacks, hate crimes, government shutdowns, class warfare, gender disparity, rape culture, and somehow thru it all...Coldplay still sells out stadiums, yet I can't find a Tears For Fears tee shirt to save my life.  Way to go assholes.

After the George Zimmerman trial, something in me broke. I couldn't think straight. I fell into a bit of a depression, and little by little the headlines each day consumed my thoughts. And I didn't have the strength to commit my thoughts to the page.

But that period is over now. This blog means more to me, than just jokes and funny pictures.  It may not have huge circulation--but someone out feels me. So, to the 37 of you that are reading this: thank you for not giving up on me.

 If you are new to my blog, welcome fucker. I make a lot of dick jokes, and have a fetish for writing the obituaries of assholes like Newt, and Ted Cruz.  If you can stomach my humor and opinionated opinions, I have 2 cardinal rules for this blog:

1. To write from an honest place, never mind the grammar, structure & rules. I am not a journalist.
2. To write only when I have something to say.

(and I suppose the third unwritten rule, is to always do thing in love. No matter how angry I am.)

That's it. Plain and simple.  If you thumb back through my postings you'll find plenty of typos, run on sentences, and dense vernacular that only the spazziest of spazzes could decode.  But over the last few months, writing my blog became difficult.

I moved to New York--Brooklyn, to be exact.  After living in Southern California for nearly 10 years, I decided to relocate to the east coast.  Talk about life altering. I've had HUGE adjustments since early May.

I moved from Los Angeles.
Moved into a tiny apartment and started a new life with my boo thang.
Traveled to Eastern Europe.
Got sick. Really sick   O_o
Battled ailments, not to mention rats.  They're everywhere outside in NY. And will rob you.
Got healthier *\0/*
Celebrated one year of my new shoulder!
Brokered peace agreement with NY rats     -__-
Had to adjust to the higher price of vodka.    :(
Discovered recreational usage of marijuana is frowned upon in NY but not coke. **I can't begin to tell you how much I miss dispensaries. I always felt safer in neighborhoods with tons of pot shops. Because pot heads are too stoned to get as hopped up and aggressive as some New Yorkers can be. *side eye
Adjust to the noise. The constant noise.  The languages, and dialects spoken a mile a minute.
The insanely high cost of living.
Walking.  I walk everywhere. Brooklyn to Manhattan. Manhattan to Brooklyn.
Some days it's for exercise, some days its to save money.

My life hasn't been awful, don't let that list above scare you in the least bit. There are a few other monumental things that have happened in the last few months, that are taking me on a wild ride.

 I have some exciting shit going on. I'm in the process of writing 2 new original plays and creating a television series.  I am also working to get another play produced in the world of commercial theatre; something that I have never done. My brain is full to say the least.  There are days where I cannot simply be bothered to have interaction with human beings.  Then there are other days where I want to hug kiss everyone I come into contact with, and skip along like a hippie in a field of mud.

Publicly, I've not commented on any of my professional goings on.  But for one particular project, I've been navigating a ship through some tricky waters. And I just thought "you know, I'm going through some major shit---and if I cultivate this correctly, my experience could be of interest to others. I won't over-share, or put annoying FB status everyday-- but maybe sharing a bit about my life, could help a young sister who's hoping to venture into producing---or writing or whatever the fuck. I don't know. And my life is filled with shenanigans, so why not?" So, I've decided to open up and share some experiences.

I don't have anything to loose, really.  Now, because things are on going I won't always fully disclose every detail--but I'll keep you posted from time to time. Because the stories are too fucking good to keep under wraps. So when the aliens come and probe our anus' for a glimpse of what we've done in this lifetime, I hope that they will see that I am stumbling down this journey like a fat toddler, curious, and determined to be the victor.

 Also, my brain has been speaking to me from a higher frequency. So yeah, if you see some poetry on here every now and again...welp, it just is what it is folks.

So darling fucker, I'm back and mad as a hatter! I've missed you. Welcome back to my life.

Won't you have me again?

I love you.

Ciao for now,


x

Everyone, calm the fuck down. Mummy is back.