Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Postoperative Instructions


Southern California Orthopedic Institute 
presents
J. NICOLE BROOKS
in

Arthroscopic Subacromial Deocompression/
Distal Clavicle Excision/
Bicep Tenodesis/
Bicep Release

Script narrated by
Her Former Self

INT. MORNING NOON AND NIGHT.THE INSIDE OF HER HEART ALSO KNOWN AS THE MIND. HER FORMER SELF APPEARS IN FRAME.  AFTER A MOMENT, SHE ADDRESSES THE CAMERA DIRECTLY AND SPEAKS. 

:
What happened to her?
Well...it's terrific really.
The universe has granted her a new sword
to stand on peaky mountains with
(Like her heroine Zora Neale)
but before she can carry it
(the sword)
she has to get a bit of repair
we have to get her a new arm
so that she may forever carry her sword
(you darling story seeker, may envision the sword of J. Nicole Brooks
any way you like. A pen like Phyllis Wheatley. A fist like Angela. A sword worthy of the almighty warrior queen 
Nzingha Of Matamba)
her sword can morph into many shapes and sizes but first, we gotta get the arm ready.
So,
The surgery...
Well.....the surgery was tough.
Basically what had happened was
What they did
in 
Layperson's term 
was
detach the bicep
shave down the collar bone
flip labrum back up right
insert metal rod (permanently)
re-attach bicep
oh and
give her a nerve block, and a lot of drugs.

 She liked her doctor. A lot.
He was after all team doctor for the Chicago Bulls and Chicago White Sox.
So, thought her hour long surgery would be a cakewalk.
normally it would
should-- take just a little over and hour, this procedure...
actually
factually
her surgery took just over 4 hours.

HER FORMER SELF PLACES SURGICAL MASK OVER HER MOUTH AND SPEAKS LIKE A JOC.
:
Yeah, this one made us have to reschedule our other surgeries.
Fuckin A this kid.
So much scar tissue.
A little girl like that, with a big football injury.
and Baseball injury too.
Labrum Injuries (Or Slap Tears as we like to call 'em)
suck.
90 % of patients have Level I Slap Tears
Baseball players especially--Level 1.
But this kid?
Get this.
This fucking kid--an actor, comes into my office complaining that her arm kinda hurt.
I tell her, it's most likely a sprain. No biggie.  Take some Advil and few weeks of therapy.
I'll run some tests--
but in the meantime,  I tell her, go back to work in her production.
that play.
Her very physically demanding play, that she loves.
Turns out
it was not only a sprain, but there was pieces of bone missing from the collar bone
and it was a LEVEL THREE Slap Tear.
Imagine the way a golf ball swings at the ball
ripping it from the tea.
Uprooting a tree, roots and all.
Swift pain that should have stopped her in her tracks.
But it didn't.
She told no one of her pain. Even did
  65 performances on this Slap Tear.
Anyway, she's here now on my table. 
There are 5 of us [surgeons, nurses, anesthesiologist], going thru her flesh
trying to get at this fucking scar tissue

THE SURGEON STRUGGLES WITH HIS INSTRUMENT.

:
It's taking us a bit more time
More time
A lot more time than we expected.
But she'll be okay.
I'm the best at what I do.
And I know she's ambitious.
Shit man. This girl made us work. 4 fucking hours to get this.
We'll have to reschedule all the other surgeries.
But I'm the best, and my people always heal.
So, anyway-
Give her more drugs. When she wakes up--
When she awakens... 
Remind the nurse to tell our dear girl to
take her meds.
Hear me nurse? Tell her to take her meds
for the pain.
We've administered nerve blocks but she needs the
narcotic
(for a short period of time, mind you.)
Wow. A level three labrum tear.
A rare injury--level three's.
All done.
She'll be fine. There is however a risk of losing mobility of her arm.
She'll have to wear a cast for 6 weeks
And have to sleep sitting up for that entire time.
And take a lot of pain meds.
She'll be okay. She'll heal.
 She just needs time.
time
time
time







time
time



time 
time time time time time time time time doubt time time unprecedented  time time pain time time
that time time time time time time makes time time you time time want time to time time end time your time time time self time time
but not time time time time your time real time self
and the pills make you
not
time
YOU.
your
real
time
self.
It isn't really you. 
And when the dust settles
and the shame wares off.
You ask for help.
And slowly rebuild.
A victorious
laborious
come back.
YOU.
WILL.
BE.
THE.
VICTOR.
I promise.
(yes you).
So, here are the postoperative instructions:
Never give up.
Ever.
And though the world may try to deceive you,
walk on.
but we will march--
together.
Onward, calmly.

Fade to black.

-the end-

ROLL CREDITS
Special thanks to you. Yes, you.



ciao for now fuckers.

4 comments:

Sean Walton said...

YOU ARE A CHAMP!!!!

And write a role in this for me. I need my insurance weeks.

Docta Slick said...

yessir!

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