Wednesday, October 26, 2011

POW! PAU! A Red Series Quickie.

 This is a picture of my darling friend Pau from Spain.

 Sorry. That's a picture of a smooth perenium--speaking of smooth pereniums, Here's Pau!
Spanish Cary Grant circa 2011
This is the brother I was telling you about. Pau Palacios. Pau found the cure to Polio, was the first scientist to discover Ukrainian unicorns; the first to defeat a Nazi in the game of backgammon, and he even dated Halle Berry. He speaks 45 languages including Spanish, Catalans, English, French, Italian, and I bet he even speaks DEAD languages. Whatever the fuck they spoke in Mesopotamia, Pau speaks it too. He's a brilliant theatre artist with Agrupación Señor Serrano based in Barcelona. You all know, I'm an easy lay for terrific talent. Well let me tell you, this man has all the makings for my future ex-husband.

All jokes aside, he is a kind and intelligent man. His work is really adept and versatile...much like his personality.  Pau was always calm, cool and collected. His smile could stop a war. And voice was smooth like butter. He had dat Spaaneesh accent that almost made me forgive their role in the African slave trade. His accent even trumped the delusional love affair that I had with Javier Bardem. Yes, Javier was MY MAN until that fuck face petite asshole Penelope Cruz came and messed up our love affair by having a baby. She KNEW everyone would love her because of that--baby.

Fuck you Penelope and that--well. I can't say "fuck that baby." So I'll say FUCK YOU AND THAT OSCAR! Yes. Take that golden statue and shove it up your urethra! I don't need Javier anymore. I have Pau.

(*Javier you can come on back home any time you ready boo. I luff you.)

"Buenos Dias Neecole. Como esta mi amor?" Pau would croon. I swear there were days I considered dying my hair black and penciling a mole on my face, so that I could look like Carmen from the opera and really set off the love affair.  Some days he'd look at me from across the room and exlaim "Ay Dios! Yo tengo Neecole en mi corazon..." And then he would weep, and have to be escorted out of the room. Yep. I drove a man to madness because he loved me. Okay maybe he wasn't driven to madness because he loved me--maybe I just mad him mad. Come to think of it I think he may have just said "Uh--hi Neecole. Please stop staring at me, this is unprofessional." But he did actually weep when he cried "Neecole, please release me from this closet. You cannot lock me in here forever! You're going to end up in the Hague criminal court along side Mugabe, Kim Jong Il and Rick Perry."

Fuck you pretty Rickey.

Maybe it's just an American thing, but I don't see anything wrong with using Ether to render someone unconscious, lock them in a room and when they come to, hope that the victim--I mean lover will propose marriage and insemination. 

Just a few nights ago, when I got home and checked the post Pau had sent me a little gift. Not only was this parcel all the way from Spain, but it was set piece from his wonderful work Catastrophe.  Just like I was surprised to find a Black Russian who understood hair--I was surprised to find a crazy good looking Spaniard who understood ghetto's and man made disasters.  Pau and I connected because I revealed my ambivalent feelings about my sweet home Chicago. Pau isn't what we'd call a "straight actor". He is however a theater practitioner and I hope you people with resources will hire him! Here's a quickie

Catastrophe is narrates the ficticious story of a valley and the advanced civilization inhabiting it which is destroying itself. The play is examing the interraltion between the forces of nature and human force. And it is ultimately asking if nature's indifference to men does justify the indiffernce of humans towards other humans.

Hmph. Sounds like a village ghetto land to me.
Pau, if you're reading this darling : uno momento.

That's pillow talk. He'll get the joke. 

I love you Pau! Keep on creating beauty! My hope is that everyone will be exposed to your talents! And now a picture of a femoral canal. Just cause. Just for scuzz.

x if you'd like to know more about their company!

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