Welcome to the New Year! Birds are falling from the sky, Boehner's cry baby ass has been sworn in, and I suspect my douche cocktail is working. Therefore I am refreshed! Revitalized and ready to skull fuck the shit out of 2011 like a prison inmate. Will you join mummy my little possum? Of course you will! Lets climb the bean stalk and fuck up the giant in the sky!
2010 was a year that had great triumphs, but dismal failures and disappointments. Certainly nothing that left me terminally ill or standing on a bridge contemplating a leap--but you know, it did leave me convinced that the spirit of Woody Allen had invaded my body. I often felt neurotic, anxious, and down right indignant.
It was like my mind was ruled by a despotic ruler named Fear. King Fear was like a dodgeball smacking into me with every move I made; my life at times felt like a B-side Sade record, that made me want to sprinkle arsenic on my grits. I mean come on, you read a few of my blog entries right? Sure I may have laughed, and made fun of myself--its my coping mechanism. But, I was bouncing off the fucking walls, ready to cash it all in for a one way ticket to Palookaville. The great thing about feeling angry and frustrated is that you're not alone. Everyone has shit that wakes them in the middle of the night, so I know I'm not special. I wasn't (or am not) the only one concerned about finances, career, quality of life, or how the fuck are we going to deal with the GOP 20 day plan to "Undo" the Obama Agenda. Sure we could drive downtown to our municipal centers, and protest this shift in power-- but it'll cost you...especially if you live in Chicago. Parking meters are 5.00 fucking dollars an hour. CTA has cut back bus lines, and gas is high as giraffe pussy. It takes money to dethrone people my little possums. And believe me, mummy is constantly hatching plans to take over. But it takes resources. It's not like I can sell my eggs to make more money in 2011. Why? Because nobody wants your mummy's old black eggs.
So what are we going to do? Well for one, keep loving one another. You'd be surprised at how the smallest acts of love can change your perspective. Love for your self, others and community. Love your self by investing in a new adult toy or yoga--whatever the fuck works for you. Love others by simply saying "please & thank you." Saying "good morning" to your fellow man at the bus stop can slowly melt the ice--even if they don't reciprocate a salutation. Do it anyway. Love your community by calling the police, and wearing out your alderman or representative to stop the madness. We cannot continue to be held hostage by the new crack generation. Yeah I said it. I refuse to give in to this "Soulja Boy" or "Wacka Flocka" mentality. And pay attention to local politics...seriously. WE are the ones voting in these judges who allow murderers walk free (recently in Chicago a 62 year old man shot and killed a 23 year old man because his puppy urinated on his lawn. The judge gave the murderer 4 years probation.) WE are the ones voting in those in the water reclaimation districts when our pipes are filled with hexavalent chromium. Oh mummy knows that's a big word possum...it basically is a contaminant that may cause mushrooms to sprout from your ass. My evidence is not confirmed, but it ain't denied yet either.
Even with all of the scary new stats released daily, and slave mentality that oppresses us all, I feel hopeful. I am going full throttle into the new year. And if my wings fail me, and I go crashing into the waters--at least I will have tried to touch the sky.
"Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." Henry David Thoreau.
Yes Virginia, there is a such thing as hope.
ciao for now kiddies,
NEXT BLOG: Tucker Carlson, Gwenyth Paltrow and other celebrities that make my dick itch.