Thursday, October 7, 2010

Slick's Picuyane Tribune Times. Weather, Sports, Religion, Science, Fashion & Tom Foolery. News That You Love.

Ciao fuckers!

There are a few things going on that are making really my vagina boil, so lets get right down to it:

Though suicide is painless, once it's done there's no turning back.  Baby seek help if you need it. I'm no counselor, but I do love you...and cherish your life.  So stay in the game.  You will grow stronger, and you have a family of people like me ready to slather you with love. We've all seen the stories in the news over the past month about the young people bullied into taking their own life over their sexuality.  I can't even understand why anyone would think it's funny to secretly stream two people having sex for others to gawk at. And if you've ever uttered an unkind word to or about someone simply because they are gay, bisexual, transgender, or lesbian then you should seek help too.  Once you bully someone, there's no turning back there either. So hear me when I say: Cut that shit out.

Time for the news!

James Versus the Volcano
The Mayoral race in Chicago is getting real interesting pisanos.  Reverend James Meeks pied piper of Salem Baptist Church, is working double time to repair his relationship with those in the LGBT community.   According to Gay Chicago Magazine "One of the biggest concerns was Meeks' actions as pastor of his mega-church. In the past he's helped the anti-gay Illinois Family Institute conduct petition drives there to limit LGBT rights and has also partnered with Focus on the Family, one of the leading national anti-LGBT fundamentalist groups. In 2006 his church reportedly held a Halloween event in which two young men who were portrayed as gay were “consigned to Hell.”

I'll reserve my commentary until I find out more about this story.  But I can tell you, I get sickened by people who hide behind the Churchianity to condemn gays. Go saddown some damned where and polish a tambourine would you? If you have to right to be in a miserable marriage, then we all should. Somebody brang me a hanky, a 3button Steve Harvey suit and soap box to stand on.  Rev Slick is in the pulpit. #CueOrganNow

Lemme just say this-- I've known and loved gay people my entire life--well, I'll say that I didn't ever have a time where I disapproved or hated them. I am actor, scribe and former dancer.  There aren't a lot of people that I "don't like". My heroes and heroines whether I knew it or not were often queer.  So I think somehow their spirits helped to form my views as I grew older.  The poetry of Langston Hughes, the debauchery of A'lelia Walker & Zora Neal, the grandiosity of Liberace. The movement of Alvin Ailey, and even Richard Simmons. At 6 years old I'd jump around with him while watching TV.  I consider myself to be gay-adjacent...and dammit I'd even take it a step further should some elderly multi-millionairess come along and want my peaches. Yes, I will happily les out for the sake of getting my college loans paid off.  Oh upset because I'm exploiting gay rights for my own agenda? Well buzz off jagweed! My plan is perfect! Why didn't I hatch this plan sooner? And I don't even think I would have to sleep with her. If I just saunter around the room whilst donning post WWII under wear from Sears (you know the panties that come to the belly and the bra's that shape your boobs into cones?) that might suffice. Yeah we'd do shots of Geritol and as a festish I'd dial from a rotatry phone. In my sexy voice I'd say "Operator please connect me to Brooklyn 7652." Our dinner would be a fish sandwhich and Sanka---jello w/marshmallows for dessert. Ummmmm....OhYeah I could get into some real freaky shit.  Like putting on a corset, and playing Andrew Sisters records. Straightening the seams on my nylons. That would get any old rich lessy's juices flowing, right?  Millicent WhiteladyVon Rockefeller, if you are out there reading this--I am willing to be your mistress--your lestress. Please relieve my anemic bank account, and I will provide you hours of naughty behavior. Oh what's that in my bra? Just some Necco's old lady. For you....

Geritol--for Geriatric Fuckery old woman. Come and get it Lessy.
 Growing up I always befriended and stood up for the one little boy who could jump double dutch, or the choir director who always wore freshly pressed clothes.  Then in college the butch girl who would offer an oil change for my car on Valentine's Day. And I can freely admit, there have been times throughout my life that I've often wondered about my sexuality, and what it means.  It's a natural occurrence-- but  most people won't fess up to it. But I'm an adult, and I'm a woman so we tend to freely admit things. If I say to someone "hey, I kinda wanna bang that chick over there. I bet she'd buy me a Danish the morning after..." I won't be bullied about it. Tails might wag a bit with gossip, and most of my males friends will be delighted--but I think it's safe to say I won't be tortured about it.  Now please do not misunderstand, I am in no way making light of what it takes to "come out".  I know many people who have become estranged from friends & families over the matter. I'm simply saying that I live in a bubble of tolerance, and sometimes I take it for granted.  I had no idea these babies were suffering so greatly. Just like we've waged the on homeland terrorism, we must adapt the same way of thinking for the protection of gay youths: If you see something, say something.  Please don't allow another child to take his/her own life. Can I get an a-men? Now can I get an a-woman? Alright chuuuch dismissed.

Jackass 3-D is soon to be released in theatres further proving that stupid white male behavior will always be rewarded.  Seriously somebody put a wire hanger around these dudes neck, and pull. #MargaretSangerWouldApprove #ProChoice

Fame whores 50Cent and Chelsea Handleer deny that they are in a relationship.  This pisses me off, because the thought of all that milky whiteness against 50s tatted up sepia Adonis ass woulda made for a delicious updated version of North & The South.  Remember the miniseries from the 80s? Kirstie Alley humped the black slave? #Uniteeee #AbolitionistWhore

It's chilly in SoCal, because fall has finally approached. So don't be sad Angelinos! When the air is brisk, nipples are easier to spot through tee shirts! #Yay

The New Black Play Fest begins in 2 days in NYC!  Black Diamond written by yours truly will be performed Oct 16th at BRIC in Brooklyn.  Get thee to theatre! #scribe

Alright fuckers that's my time.  Chelsea, if you're reading this. I love you, and I will rub Nair all over them milky white legs and wipe the blonde hair off, if you promise to be my lessy sugarmama. #nohomo

ciao for now kiddies!
NEXT BLOG: Sign my petition to keep Chelsea & 50 CENT together.


Anonymous said...

there was no sex in that video!

Docta Slick said...

I KNOW! I CAN'T FIND THE EXACT ONE WHERE THEY HUMP! I'm gonna keep searching for it! :)
I like the way you think

lynne Jordan said...

I love dis shit!

Lotti Pharriss said...

I love you. That is all.