Friday, July 2, 2010

My God Given Right To Be Independently Ignorant

"You're an embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.
"How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so fucking nice."
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."
"Look what you did to me... look what you are... look what every part of you is... fucking fake... fucking fake. You are the most synthetic person... who the fuck are you?"

Ladies and Gentlemen not even Conway Twitty's music can distract us from Mel's rantings. The above statements were recorded by his girlfriend/baby mama Oksana Grigorieva. 

I don't know about you, but I still have sex fantasies about Mel Gibson.  I bet he's a kinky bastard and would be up for anything.  My favorite Gibson fantasy is the one where  we play dress in colonial gear and I chase him thru the woods, blood hounds and all.  When I catch up to him, I strap on a huge black cock and grated him like cheese. When I'm done,  I gut him like a hog, and move on to the next plantation. This sex game is called Nat Turner.

Oh Mel, what is in the fuck is wrong with you?  I guess your Irish Catholic pappy forgot to tell you a few things about the Bible.  Well one little quick thing to consider is that you're going to be pretty mad, when you get to heaven you will discover that Jesus the Christ don't look shit like Jim Caveziel.  He will most likely look like the pack of niggers that you hoped would rape your baby mama.

But Mel, before you die (not that I'm wishing death upon you...because you're doing a pretty good job of killing yourself) I hope you get shipped to South Africa and locked in a room full of Zulu warriors.  Not the Shaka Zulu kind, the contemporary warriors that will blast Vuvuzela Horns into your ear. 

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” JC

What is wrong with Mel Gibson? Such a waste of a good white talent.  

Annnnnnnyyyyyway, happy Friday fucka! I ain't got much to say today except that I'm hoping that your weekend will be filled with barbeque, beer, and lumpy potato salad.  Don't be a douche nozzle though. Don't drink then drive, smoke pot then try to light fireworks, and don't put so much mayo in the cole slaw white people.  Why y'all like mayonnaise so much? Why white people do you have salads and fruit at your bbq's? We on't want that shit. We want smoked flesh and syrupy soda. I don't want your organically grown tree bark and kumquat skewers. And why y'all be trippin when we don't like to say the Pledge of Allegiance? I ain't sayin that shit in the middle of a backyard barbeque. The only reason I came to your bbq is because white people often supply alcohol.  Whereas you go to some black peoples house and the invite looks like this "come to our house for food and fun! Please bring food. And Hennessy."  Black people, go for a walk after your heart disease inducing menu.  Don't make spaghetti and macaroni in the same setting. Black girls don't add red, white and blue weave.  Independence Day ain't got nothing to do with yo black ass.  And Mexicans, don't leave those fucking Tecate bottles and empty ears of corn on my lawn. And no, I don't want to buy a bag of oranges from you. 

And with that friends I hope you have a safe and loverly weekend.  Happy Independence Day from your lovable freckled face bigot.

ciao fuckers!


NEXT BLOG: Mad Max Beyond The Thunder Dome DVD gag reel extras: Tina Turner takes a poop into Mel Gibson's dessert cup and calls it chocolate pudding. The delayed realization is hilarity.


Mark said...

Nice post, sugar tits.

Docta Slick said...

Ha! Thanks for reading fucka