Greetings From Hells Twat.

Ciao fuckers!

Somebody run and grab me a punch bowl so that I can smash it onto the ground and yell "DAMN DAMN DAMN!"

I. Am. So. Over. It.

First before you go get your violins to accompany my sad sorry ass, I wanna know how you doing? How are you my darling possums? Mummy wants to hear all about it.

Really? Is that right? She did? Well, that doesn't sound very friendly...uh huh...well does it itch? Oh balderdash! You have nothing to worry about! The statute of limitations has passed. Mmkay?

So back to my sorry sack debbie downer ass.
This apartment hunting is draining.  We've driven from Northridge to Larchmont looking for places that don't require 1st, last and security. On top of a credit check, and application fee.  Everytime a potential land lord asks me what I do for a living, I start sweating like a hooker in church.

Who ever says that right now is a "renters market" is full of shit.  Yeah the prices may be down a bit in SoCal, but remember this is a relative thing.  Most places charge 1200.00 on up for rent.  And I'm not talking about posh neighborhoods. I'm talking 1475.00 to live in Little Lithuania.  This shit is maddening son.

My friends (bless their hearts) are like "why don't you do this or that?" they don't seem to hear me when I say "When you have a colorful credit score, and are currently drawing unemployment, on TOP of being an actor? Getting an apartment is like getting a role on a good TV show. That shit just don't happen no more."

So pray for me old chum.  It's hard out here on the stroll. I'm tired as hell and due the fact that I'm in a relationship, cannot roofie some dumb ass and take over his apartment.  I simply want to have place to lay my head in a matter of weeks.

I keep thinking about that dude Sam Worthington. The gimp from Avatar.  This fucker claims that he was living out of his car then got called in by James Cameron for Avatar.  No, don't get excited I don't mention him as a story of hope---I just don't believe that shit for one minute. But then again, maybe it is a true story. Should I re-invent myself? Show up looking like a buff white boy from the UK? No...that doesn't work. Wait, I've got it! I will be the latest greatest import from New Zealand. I will be America's sweet heart aborigine.

Okay back to the grind...

Enjoy that warm couch, you home having bastard.

ciao

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